What 18 Holes of Bad Golf Taught Me About Advertising Sales

By: Chip Sarver, CGOe

I have come to realize that my golf game and my career in advertising sales have more in common than I would like to admit. Both start with a lot of optimism, a shiny new plan, and a belief that this time, I have got it figured out. Tragically, I usually do not.

Here is a hole-by-hole breakdown of a typical quarter.

The Front Nine

Hole 1: The Optimistic Tee Shot

Every round and every new client pitch begins the same way: full of confidence. New shirts, clean clubs, and fresh ideas. I step up, line it up, and swing like I am about to make the PGA Tour, only to shankopotamus it into the woods. In sales, that is the equivalent of opening a pitch with a brilliant idea and realizing halfway through that I am presenting to the wrong decision-maker. Strong start, wrong fairway.

Hole 2: The Pro Approach (That Lands in the Rough)

I follow up my bad tee shot with a beautiful, soaring iron shot. It looks perfect in the air. This is the sales demo that goes flawlessly, the slides are crisp, and the jokes are landing. Then, the ball lands and takes a hard bounce into the thick grass. The client says, "This is great. We'll get back to you in six weeks." 

Hole 3: The Mulligan Phase

There comes a moment when I have to admit it: I need a mulligan. In golf, I just drop another ball and act like it never happened. In advertising, it is, “Let’s rework that proposal.” Both are humble admissions that maybe, just maybe, my perfect plan was not all that perfect. Experience has taught me the key is to do it with confidence, like this was all part of the master plan.

Hole 4: The Unplayable Lie

The ball is now lodged deep in a bush, next to a "No-Trespassing" sign. This is the client's request that is simply impossible. "We love the media plan, but can we have the same reach for 30% of the budget?" You stare at the situation, knowing there is no good outcome, and have to declare it unplayable. Take the penalty.

Hole 5: The Inexcusable Three-Putt

I finally got the ball onto the green, just 15 feet from the cup. A simple two-putt for bogey. But I leave the first putt short. I miss the second one. I tap in for a three-putt. This is the sales fumble of not following up. Research shows 80% of sales require five or more follow-ups, yet 44% of salespeople give up after just one.

Hole 6: Reading the Green (or the Room)

Golf is about knowing how the green breaks. Sales is all about knowing how the client breaks. In both cases, I have read the room like a pro, reading a green, and then three-putted the interpretation. “Looks flat to me,” I say confidently, right before my putt veers off like it is avoiding commitment. Same with clients: “They loved the concept!” I tell the team just before the email arrives asking to “revisit the budget.”

Hole 7: The Endless Par-5

This hole just keeps going. It is a long, winding fairway that seems to have no end. This is the enterprise deal. The average B2B sales cycle can last six to eight months, and this one feels like it. We are on our fourth call, the seventh stakeholder has just been "looped in," and the green is still a tiny speck on the horizon.

Hole 8: The Slow Play Ahead

My rhythm is gone and my patience is shot. The foursome in front of me is taking 10 minutes per shot and looking for lost balls in the fairway. This is the procurement department. They are not in a hurry. They do not share my sense of urgency. I am stuck, leaning on my club, and waiting.

Hole 9: The Turn (and the Lunch)

By the time I hit the turn, I am emotionally drained, sunburned, and questioning my handicap number. So naturally, I do what any seasoned golfer or salesperson does: lunch and a stiff drink. There is nothing a sandwich and a little self-delusion cannot fix. “We’re just warming up,” I tell myself, conveniently ignoring the four lost balls.

The Back Nine

Hole 10: The "Hero Shot" (That Isn't)

I am 230 yards out, with a sharp dogleg left to the green. A smart player would lay up at the turn. I am not that player. I pull out my 3-wood. This is the sales equivalent of betting on potential instead of playing not to lose. I swing for the fences. And it’s a slice right into the southern pines.

Hole 11: The Sudden Downpour

Everything was fine. The sun was shining. Then, out of nowhere, a sideways rainstorm soaks me to the bone. This is the mid-quarter budget freeze. The client calls apologetically: "We love it, but all nonessential spending is frozen until further notice."

Hole 12: The Hero Shot (That Actually Works)

Every salesperson and bad golfer knows this move. It is the “I can carry it over that water” moment. It is the same energy as saying, “Sure, we can deliver that campaign in two weeks.” Both end in disaster 90% of the time. But that 10%, oh, that 10%, that is the shot that lands two feet from the pin. It is the 20% B2B close rate that actually hits. That 10% keeps us coming back.

Hole 13: The Golf Partner’s Advice

My buddy (sales manager) says, "It's playing longer than it looks, and the wind is in your face. Take one extra club." I ignore him, and the result is the “Ole Mother-In-Law” shot. It looks good leaving, but doesn’t go far enough. 

Hole 14: The Wrong Club

I am 150 yards out. I chose a 6-iron. The moment I hit it, I knew. It is too much club. I sail it clear over the green. This is overpitching. I spent an hour and a half on the new media plan when all the client wanted to know was the price. Wrong club.

Hole 15: The Sand Trap of Negotiation

You think you are almost there with the green in sight, the deal on the table, and suddenly, thud, you are in the bunker. You take one swing and barely move it. Another swing, and skull it over the green. The client says, “We need to run this by the board.” Ah yes, the corporate equivalent of plugging it into the lip of the trap.

Hole 16: The Lost Ball

I hit a decent drive, just off the fairway. I know exactly where it is. I walk 250 yards to the spot, and…it is gone. Vanished. This is the "ghosting" client. We had a great meeting, they were excited, they were supposed to send the brief, and now…nothing. No email reply. No call back. Just gone.

Hole 17: The Four-Foot Putt for Double Bogey

This putt is not for a win. It is not for par. This putt is just to stop the bleeding and avoid a triple. It is the end of the quarter, and I am just trying to close one small, simple renewal to "get on the board." And I push it right.

Hole 18: The Scorecard Lie

At the end of it all, we tally up the numbers, round down on a few bad swings, and pretend I did not completely implode on Hole 5. In sales, we call that “forecasting.” With only 20% of sales organizations achieving forecasts within 5% of projections, this is a widespread art. In golf, it is called “creative arithmetic.” Either way, I walked off the course telling myself it was not that bad.

The 19th Hole: Perspective

Golf and advertising sales both require patience, persistence, and the ability to laugh at yourself, preferably before you cry. Some days, you will rip it down the fairway and close the deal. Other days, you will lose four balls, a client, and your dignity before lunch. But in both games, you keep showing up. Because every once in a while, the swing feels right, the pitch lands perfectly, and you remember why you love working in this business in the first place.

And for those rough days, at least you know there is always the 19th hole.